Newsflash: Mothers are required to take their children to neighborhood pools in the summer. If you want to be a good mother, you must do this. It's part of the mommy code. And my fear of failure in the area of motherhood requires that I play by these unwritten mommy rules.

But the thought of my pale white flesh hanging out of a swimsuit in a matter of mere weeks has set me into a frenzy. You see, it was a long, cold winter here in Colorado. I was forced to pack on extra fat to keep warm. Plus, the act of eating cookies, cupcakes, and chocolate kept me from noticing the snow in the yard. Yes, I am a master of distraction. But I think I might have overdone it a bit. Lily poked my stomach this week and said, "Mommy, you are a little bit fat. Do you have a baby in your tummy?" That was a delightful day.

So because I tend to swing towards obsessive compulsive disorder extreme discipline, I went a little crazy. I cut out all dairy, meat, processed sugars and all white flour. Basically I eat seeds and berries. Just kidding! But my choices are really limited.

My kids laughed when I told them I was not eating meat, but when they heard I was giving up sugar, panic struck their poor little souls. Their minds flashed back to other times I cut out sugar. Let's just say the sugar-withdrawl period is not pretty, my friend. The first few days without sugar one can be a tad on edge. Plus whenever I try healthy eating, I secretly start replacing their favorite foods with healthy alternatives. Unfortunately, the soy cheese gave me away and now they are on to me.

Anyway, here I go again. I've been doing it for a week now and have already lost 4 pounds. But more than that, I feel better. I think I'll stick to this for a while. Anyone else up for trying this with me?